The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Your penis caused this!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
