okay pat passed out under dana's car
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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