Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
