And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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