I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
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