i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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