and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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