How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
two words: eviction party
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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