I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
