shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
