Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
