just tell him i said nine months
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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