I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
