last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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