remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
