Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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