Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
