I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
