Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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