He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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