Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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