The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
