walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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