too bad you live with your parents still
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
