I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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