so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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