I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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