Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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