Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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