i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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