So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
