You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
