she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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