If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
