I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
