she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Sext me about skeletons
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
