I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
