Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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