I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
