...so i touched it.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
