you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
