This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
