he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
