So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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