The maid of honor just puked.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
