That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
