I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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