She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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