Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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