Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
