Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
