at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
