You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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