Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
