he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
