I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
