i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
