NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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