Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
