I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
