Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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