I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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