my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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