i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
