so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize