I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
